This one goes out to all the Gen-X and Gen-Y Peter Pan men out there who are only slightly embarrassed to tell their spouses they would still want Batman sheets on the bed if only they came in king size silk. If you’re one of those guys who still plays with collectible Lego assembly sets that you won’t let your children touch by penalty of having to eat YOUR helping of vegetables, as long as those vegetables are not caramelized Brussels sprouts, this one’s for you! If you’ve been eyeballing R2D2 trash cans and grills or you ever thought it would be great to have a Dalek that brings you extra dirty martinis, you can relax because you’re home. I can already hear your inner 12 year old bouncing with delight at the mere thought of acquiring the geekiest man cave ever….
Without further ado, here are seven ways to DIY your space into the motherfucking Bat Cave.
1. First, a DIY Bat Cave is going to need a secret passageway entrance through a book shelf door… because the first rule about Bat Cave is don’t talk about Bat Cave. The second rule is pretend not to see the massive construction zone while building this thing so everyone involved can pretend convincingly that no one knows it’s there. Deflect! Deflect!
2. Next, we need to hide rope lights behind mirrors so that we can build in an easy way to escape in case Bat Cave is ever discovered. I vote for these portals. But be careful – you might hear a voice promising you cake. I assure you the cake is a lie.
3. I think we can all agree that no one needs a globe anymore. When you want to know where Myanmar is, you can Google that shit. You have the technology. So, you should definitely turn your globe into the Death Star. Bonus points if you can make it open up to expose a secret compartment where you keep the tiny bottle of super expensive Scotch you pretend to know everything about.
4. You can jump up and down on this bed with the enthusiasm you vowed never to show again since becoming a devout hipster when you fashion your super secret squirrel sleeping quarters into a space kind of like this hotel room in Taiwan whose designer clearly thinks the Dark Knight was played by Adam West.
5. BUT WHO CAN SLEEP AT A TIME LIKE THIS?! There are superhero things that need superheroing, and how can we ever superhero them without the home office version of SKYNET?! To the ostentatious workstation gaming zone, BATMAN! Must do ALL the things!
6. All that superheroing is hard work! We’ll need to grab a glass of craft beer out of the R2D2 kegerator….
7. …and invite Princess Peach to come over and sit by the 8-bit fireplace. Cheers! To a mod well done!